Halfway Point

I'm so beat after doing roughly an hour of straight Noribong (karaoke), so I'll just do a quick update and do more tomorrow. But, as a sidenote, my friend and I got four straight scores of 100 and nothing lower than a 94 after, doing every song from "Never Gonna Give You Up" (the lead off song, obviously), to "Thriller." I have no voice left, but well worth it to impress the two chicks with us. The older woman who owned it gave us an additional 20 minutes extra after our initial shift was over, and then was going to give us free beers and another 20 minutes, but we were so exhausted we (or had the girls, who were Korean) politely decline the offer.

Today was an adventure: we went to Everland, the biggest amusement park in Korea I think, though it took us awhile to get there and we only had about 5 hours to enjoy it. I even went on a rollercoaster somehow. It's like the Korean Six Flags. We even made new friends: Jun, a stocky 12 year old who we met on line for the coaster, and Yung, a 20ish hipster with a hot girlfriend who said we made some type of "connection" on the coaster since we were both in each other's pictures. How do I attract only men? The streak continues.

I also finally had Domino's. I have been craving this for months, and they had one nearby, so I scarfed down a large pepperoni like it was my job. I'm gonna stop here. Tomorrow is likely bowling and then eating LIVE SQUID. That'll be interesting. Cheers.

UPDATE: Rest of Wednesday...the theme park was really cool. The lines were really long, but that's to be expected at a theme park and at 5pm, when it closes at 10pm. Over here, every girl wears heels too...no matter how old. The guys here dress oddly too: I saw a guy with a t-shirt and a bowtie and some crazy storm trooper boots. And apparently that's trendy! So glad I'm untrendy then. I went on the rollercoaster just to keep with my mantra of "No Regrets," but regretted it as soon as I dropped what appeared to be a million feet down. It's an all wood coaster too, so my friend saying things like "I hope this doesn't break when we're on it" didn't help at all. While on line, we met these precocious kids, one named Jun, the other was a skinny kid who kept touching and poking Jun. They looked like they were like 10 years old, tops. They kept looking at us, mainly because my friend bought these fake bunny ears that he was wearing on top of his head, but maybe because they thought, "Who the hell are these old guys?" After we left the park, we ended up seeing them leave, so we waved to Jun like a mom saying goodbye after sending her son to sleepaway camp. He waved back, wearing a huge cat's paw. It was quite a moment. I ended up buying these ridiculously expensive plush boxing gloves, with one being in pink because they didn't make blue left hands, for some odd reason. We came back, exhausted, but still went out for some drinks with these two girls my friend knows here. One was definitely into me, although she had a subpar face but a very nice body. I felt bad that I had to speak to them like a caveman ("Me tired"), but they didn't really grasp the English language all that well, even though they were Korean teachers teaching English (weird, I know).

Sidenote: I forgot to mention two days ago, we went back to "Times Square," except not to do anything sexual (though we were propositioned by what appeared to me a female pimp). We met up with my friend's friends at the batting cages. I did OK, it's been awhile since I have swung a bat, but I got it back after a bit. I also did a game where you determine your punch power; I ended up garnering the second best score of the night, right-handed no less. I tried to win a cool (fake) BMW lighter in the grab machine too; but unfortunately was unsuccessful. I was also able to drink a huge Korean 40 oz. (or whatever the non-metric equivalent is) in the streets, which was cool. I'll miss that when I go back. After all that, I kept coming back to this area in the middle of the street where you could break these boards for prizes. Like breaking wood in a karate competition, except it was these tiles. I'd say they were a little stronger than ceiling tiles. I saw all these guys doing it, I had to try it. I was a little nervous I'd break my hand, and didn't really want to check out a Korean hospital. But I saw these guys who looked less stronger than me doing it, even though they were using a lot of forearm and elbow. So, I tried to channel my inner Bruce Lee and focus all the power into my hand. Holding my breath, I jumped up and drove through like a hammer hitting a nail...and BOOM, they all break. All 10 of them. I was exstatic, feeling like I could take down the world. I won this stuffed toy coyote; ugly, yes, but still a decent toy for $5. My friend told me I should give it to one of the good-looking girls watching, so, feeling very Clooney-esque, I did. The only problem was, she spoke no English. So even after having one of my friend's friends try to talk to her, it didn't work. She apparently wanted to talk to me, but couldn't. She kept looking back as she walked away, but I did receive a handshake and two hugs. The guy in front of me, who was like Obi-Wan to my Luke in terms of telling me how to be victorious on board breaking, said I was "Casanova." Long story short, I broke another stack, though it was the same amount unfortunately, as I asked for more but was denied. I guess they were afraid I'd hurt myself and sue or something. My hand's a little sore, and my pinky's a little swollen, but all in all, a success.

We went to a bar after for a bit and some guy basically followed me into the bathroom as I went...he was like literally an inch away from me...so weird. Later, he was upset at us for speaking English in the bar, and everyone wanted to fight him, but he was supposedly "connected" so we walked away. It'd of been better for him anyway...there were four of us there, and one of him. Even in other countries, people just don't know how to have a good time.

Sidenote: Everyone here eats squid jerky like it's regular jerky. It's so disgusting. I tried it; it tastes like shit-flavored wax. Now it's off to live squid!

Only Tuesday?

I feel like I've been here forever...and it's only Tuesday. I got here Thursday night, but it's been so busy. So where did I leave off? After the whole "making out on the dancefloor" Saturday, I slept in until about 4pm Sunday (I still am pretty low on energy; I want to sleep like 20 hours but that'll ruin most of my week). We woke up and went to this local Korean place for quick food; I had some dumpling soup (ok, but I didn't like that they had egg in it), some chicken with mayonnaise (they love to put this on everything...yet they are so skinny), purple rice, and miso-esque soup. Maybe it's the American in me, but I really could only eat the chicken and rice...I just don't have the palate for the Korean stuff. We then went to the Buddha festival in another part of the city (it was his birthday). We got there and it was pretty awesome; they have a huge parade down one of the main streets in the city and everyone and their mother seems to be involved in it, from kids to adults. I saw a bunch of non-Koreans in there, and my friend and I desperately tried to jump in at the end of the parade...alas, there were a lot of cops around, and I wasn't looking to spend the rest of my money on bail money. It was quite a sight; at the end of the night there was a big concert. Imagine what appears to be the entire city dancing and doing conga lines in the street...amazing. That money I ended up saving, however, would be used to buy these awesome beer goggles; literally they're beer-shaped frames with a yellow tint. My friend tried to talk them down from the $8 asking price (they were probably worth $4, even with their awesomeness factor added in), but they didn't budge. I walked out and walked quickly back, since I didn't know where else I could find them, besides maybe eBay. I went to a few other stores and bought some t-shirts (one for me and my brother; both equally cool with Korean writing on them, I hope) and then we headed over to a gingibong (sp?), which is Korean for "spa." This one, however, is not dirty; it's like a big fitness club, with saunas, steam rooms, even places to sleep. They have saunas that are like almost 90 degrees Celsius, which is still pretty hot in Fahrenheit. They even have some pools you can swim in. The place is open 24 hours. It was something they totally couldn't have in the states, my friend and I thought. Too many bums and vagrants would sleep in there, since it never closes. After that, I was still hungry, since I hadn't eaten much, and we went to a Burger King, where I wolfed down a Whopper meal and fries. It was by far the best meal of the night and week. While I've tried everything so far, this was just like home, and well worth the wait.

Monday I woke up exceptionally early for some reason, since I had trouble sleeping. I woke up my friend and he begrudgingly woke up and we left by about 11am, a far cry from the 4pm of the day before. We went to a really good Japanese noodle place, where I had my second best meal of the week (besides BK). They even had an Italian restaurant in there, which I found funny. They sold a lot of "sparghetti." From there, it was off to the Korean Folk Village, which is basically just a huge historical park with a lot of old-time Korean things. My friend and I enjoyed playing with the cheap toys (toy pullstring mouse, which my friend bought, and large inflatable weapons) there more than the park probably. But the scenery was great and the weather was terrific, so it was the best time to do it. We even watched a really low-grade 3D movie there, with a projector operated by a man wearing lipstick. Only in Korea, I guess. We also wanted to go on the kiddie amusement park rides, but many of them were shut down, and I doubt they would have wanted two 24-year olds breaking their equipment. They also don't like you playing with their toys outside, which my friend can attest to, as he was yelled at at least 3 times for it. We stayed there for basically the whole day, and were going to go to the 9-hole Par 3 golf course next door, at my suggestion, but it looked closed and it was a very steep walk up a long hill, so we passed. That's another thing about this place: there's stairs and uphill climbs everywhere! Subway: 15 stairs. Restaurants: 10 stairs. Hills. No wonder they're in shape; they have to traverse up so many plateaus to get anywhere.

I'll continue with the rest of the night, which was rather quiet, later. Since we're all off and everyone else has work, there's not much going on. I'm eating live squid Thursday, and meeting up with some girls (my friend put that plan into motion). Saturday will be a soccer game, and a visit to the casino. But for now, I'm just focusing on Tuesday night. Cheers.

Bad Movies, Huge Turtles, and Salaciousness

Well, second day here. Little tired from being up from 4am EST to 3am Korean time, but somehow I'm functioning. Last night after coming home from the airport, we went to my friend's apartment (which has a bathroom that is the shower...I have a picture, you'll have to see it to believe it) and rested until we went out to this "Ice Bar," a huge open pit filled with domestic and "imported" beers like Miller Light and Stella Artois. I ended up having a Tsinghao, a Chinese beer, and a Pilsner from the Czech Republic. Not too bad, little bit of an aftertaste, but OK. My friend got a chicken wing and mozzarella stick combo (they actually serve that here), but he said the sticks tasted like fish sticks and the chicken wings were greasy as hell. The bar was actually supposed to be a "Western" themed bar, complete with the waiter wearing a "Texas Palm" button down shirt and speaking a bit of English and also told me I was "very handsome." So continues my streak of men saying compliments to me. Actually I am such an American snob; I expected more people to speak at least a little English; but basically besides a stray word here or there, I am the outsider. Luckily my friend knows a bit, but even his knowledge has a limit...so we just hope we're not getting screwed over anywhere.

After dinner, we went to this other part of the city to look for some salacious things...the initial place we went to was shut down, so we had to take another cab (the problem here is that you must take a cab almost everywhere...the subway shuts down at like 11pm and doesn't reopen until 5am) to what was like the Times Square of the city... a lot of bright lights and barber poles outside that symbolize where you can get everything but a haircut. We met up with one of my friend's friends, a person who had a better grasp on the language than we did, and had him negotiate a rate at a very nice establishment to the attractive cashier who clearly hated us due to our lack of the language. I was led into a small clean room with a shower and tub, with mood lighting and a massage table. I sat there on the table, with the establishment-provided slippers, fully clothed, unsure of what to do. After all, I had never been to a place like that, and wasn't sure of any rules or protocol to follow. So I waited, a little nervous and shaking, but more because I went out with a light button down shirt and it ended up raining hard and became extremely cold and wet. Finally, after what appeared to be hours but ended up being like 2-3 minutes, the "help" came in. A fairly attractive (probably about a 7, 7.5 with nothing on) woman walked in. Not knowing what to do, she quickly instructed me to disrobe. Even though I had to brush my teeth (Koreans appear to have a big thing for oral hygiene, which I don't mind), I was led into the bathroom/shower, and was washed for the second time in the day (took a shower earlier before I went out), though it's not as infantile as it may seem. Pretty erotic, actually. After the shower, I was led into the massage table, and laid down. From there, the kindly woman began to rub her oiled up body all over my back, and even sucked my toes, which again, sounds weird, but feels pretty great. I won't paint you a picture with what happened after, but suffice to say, it was great. They bath you after (don't jump in the tub, to my dismay, just wash you down), and then you basically leave. I had to wait in some waiting room for my friend to finish (you can actually sleep there if you want, and a blind person, a woman but unfortunately sometimes a man massages you the next day), and wasn't allowed to sit in the lobby, as apparently it looks bad, even though everyone knows why they're there. You're not there to sing karaoke, that's for sure. Not too expensive, thanks to my friend's friends bargaining, and certainly worth it. Everyone must try this at least once, but I can see how it can become addictive.

After, we went to a bar to discuss our evening and drink some authentic Korean beer, Cass...bit of an odd aftertaste, but cheap. It was like 40 KRD, but that transfers to about $4 USD (basically the way it works out is you take the first few numbers and that's the USD equivalent). I wanted to swipe the mug and accompanying bottle opener (every beer is not a twist-top...wow, Americans are so lazy), but decided against it...damn my morals. We ended up taking a cab back and went to sleep. Overall, I woke up at 4:30am EST, and went to bed for good at 3:30 Korean time, Friday. Somehow, I didn't crash and burn. More tomorrow.

Update on Saturday: we went to the biggest Skyscraper in Korea. It has a Seaworld, an IMAX movie, and an art exhibit. Before, we went to a Korean BBQ, where I tried numerous things, including squid. It has a weird texture but is not horrible. You have to eat almost all your meal here or it's looked on as being rude. Then off to the skyscraper...to summarize, Seaworld was good (saw the biggest turtle in my life, and also took a picture with two decent looking "princesses" although in the picture it appears that I have a pair of man-breasts), IMAX movie was basically a PSA wrapped into a kid's movie (global warming is bad! Also, women on other planets dress very sexy), and the art was good, except for a few odd ones that I didn't even really consider art, and continues to promote my idea that anyone can be an artist. We left there and came back before going out, first to a burger place that is fairly American (Kraze Burger), and then off to a place called a "Soju Tent," where you drink this vodka-esque Soju drink in, of all places, a tent. It tastes like a bitter vodka; it doesn't go down all that bad, but if you drink enough of it (which happened), it can make you feel drunk. I also ate a bit of a potato pancake, even though it was spicy as hell (all Korean food seems to have a lot of spice in it). Then off to a Korean club/bar, I forgot the name, but it was cool. I thought it would be easier to approach women here because of the language barrier, but therein lies the problem. I approached a few, but had no luck...they're quite dismissive if you're not from there and speak the language. So, somewhat dejected, I left and went to another bar to grab some food and chill. I ended up staying there for a bit with my friend and his friends (two pretty cool guys, both teachers like my friend), arm wrestled all three of them (and winning, in case you wanted to know), and leaving. We actually went back to the first bar, to give it another crack...I don't remember why; I wasn't that drunk, but the lack of food and sleep was probably cutting off the oxygen to my brain. So we went back, and I still wasn't having any luck. Then my friend put his wingman cap on and went to work. He approached this somewhat attractive (he'll say she isn't...but she is) African American gal, and I went up to her friend. Now, this is where things started to move very quickly. I approached her, maybe got her name, and all four of us went to the dance floor. Then, while there, I proceeded to make out with her hardcore 6-7 times, and grinded for at least 4-5 songs non-stop. At the end, I was dripping sweat with sore legs (I actually picked her up a few times...this is typically a risky move, but somehow I pulled it off), but I kept going. It was one of the few times I felt like everyone was watching me out there, jealous, and were powerless to stop it. Felt great. We went outside where she had a cigarette (I unfortunately joined in...actually really regret this), and talked a bit. I really don't remember anything about her; my friend had to tell me her name and where she lived...but I did get a number. I may see her again Friday. For now, whatever, I had my fun with her, but obviously, doing more would be great. We'll see what happens...keep you posted. I better run now; it's like 4:22am, and I need to get some sleep (or lack thereof). Later.

I'm Alive...

Made it here alive...the flight was brutally long and uncomfortable (I think I'll pay the extra money next time for first class...they have damn seats that pull out into beds!), but at least I saw some movies...Defiance, Valkyrie, and Seven Pounds. Defiance was by far the best; Daniel Craig is just the man. Period. I'd write more, like seeing the slap fight break out between Korean girls walking to Customs, or the unbelievable cleaniness of the airport, but I want to get ready and go out a little and experience Seoul. I thought I'd be more tired, since it's like a day ahead here, but I'm ok...I'll probably just pass out at a bar; so nothing really will change from back home (kidding). Update more tomorrow.

First Post...Not the last

Started this to keep the few people who care in the loop of my trials and tribulations in Seoul, South Korea. This'll be short, since I have like a 20+ hour flight tomorrow (including connections). I hope this isn't the last time you hear from me, in more ways than one. See you later.