Full Circle

I know this is really late, but a late surge of jetlag finally hit me the last few days, so I haven't been exactly ready, willing, and able to finish my story. And in reality, it really is a story...it was a trip filled with craziness, sexiness, and coolness, just like Justin Timberlake would say. I really felt like I became a different person: maybe it was the air, maybe it was the food, but somehow I feel changed. I haven't really come back from the trip, mentally at least. Sitting at work the last few days, I just wasn't there. But now all I can hope for is that a lot of my good fortune from SK will carry over back into my life.

But anyway, on to the last leg of the trip. So we met up with the girls eventually, over an hour later, mind you. We weren't too happy; my friend especially wasn't happy because his date, unfortunately hadn't magically converted to Halle Berry like he wished (she was more like a heavier Whoppi Goldberg). My date, however, was still in good condition, like a Ken Griffey, Jr. rookie card (does anyone even collect cards anymore? I actually have a Griffey rookie card; I feel like it'll be worth a maximum value of $10 if he makes it to the Hall of Fame). Anyhoo, we met at this really chill hookah lounge, a place I didn't think existed in South Korea. I had already consumed a few beers, so I was feeling very relaxed. I was a little nervous; I knew if I wanted to "close" this girl I'd have to be on my game. I couldn't bring her back to my friend's apartment, mainly because it was too tiny and had paper-thin walls, but also because it just wasn't very polite. The hotel room was the only option. Knowing this, I went into full on debonair mode. She was giving me a lot of good "kino touches" as Mystery says, and I knew I just had to work her a little more to get the desired outcome I was looking for. My friend also gave me a quick pep talk, telling me that I had to go in for the kill or else she'd feel rejected. He always knows how to inspire me. After we left there, everyone was a little tipsy, which always works out in the guy's favor. As long as they're not puking, you're ok. Wow, that sounds like a future rapist...

Anyway, after that, it was noribong time. We sauntered into the karaoke hall, and my friend and I immediately chose the perfect song to set the mood: "Nice and Slow," by one Usher Raymond. I must say, this was a very wise choice, as the women immediately began to swoon and I waited for the panties to be thrown like a Tom Jones concert. Alas, no panties were, but still, they were loving it. Once the girl I was with lost her cigarettes, and my friend told me to go with her to buy more, I knew it was my chance. So as we left, that's when the story picks up. So we go to buy the Menthol Marlboros at some corner store (only $2 a pack there...I should have bought a shitload of cartons back and I would have made a fortune), and go back to the room to find my friend and his black beauty making out hardcore. Sensing I would have been a buzzkill to the situation, I told the girl I was with (we'll call her Sally), that we should take a walk to give them some time alone. I must say, even though I really only wanted sex from Sally, it felt kind of good to walk around a big city like that with a girl. Somewhat romantic, I guess. We were holding hands, and it felt like we were in a relationship or something...but no one wants to hear the mushy stuff. Let's keep going.

So we walk around and come back...more of the same, my friend all over this girl like a cheap suit. So I finally told Sally, "Let's just go to a bar and wait it out." She wanted to get her bag, but I told her it wasn't possible. We'd gone too far. So we went to the bar across the street, where they gave you really cool matchbooks (there was just a really small scratching part on it...I actually started one up right away, and it made me look really good). We drank more, her not so much, she was already "gone." I had to drink mine and hers while we waited. We small talked more, I'm not even sure about what, but things were going very well, we'll just say that. So we went back, for the third time, and this time, I was amazed at what I saw: my friend, laying on top of this woman, about to pull down the front of her shirt, Girls Gone Wild style...before I peaked in and they stopped midway. I didn't intend for them to stop, but they did. Then my friend gave me the ultimate sign: the wave-off. You don't get this too often, but in this situation, I knew I wouldn't see him for the rest of the night. Like Kurt Russell said as Hugh Brooks in Miracle, it was my time.

So we left the lounge, sans her bag of course, and headed off into the night looking for something to do. Or at least kill more time until we went back to get her bag. Soon enough, I lost track of time, and realized our time at the karaoke was probably up, and that we had to get her bag, because I sure as hell wasn't paying for the rest of the night if we did anything. So we headed back and were not surprised to see my friend and his date were gone, like Kayser Soze in The Usual Suspects (cue the blowing into your hand and symbolizing wind). Since her phone was, of course, in her bag, I had no way of getting in touch with my friend. But, this is where preparation pays off. My first night there, my friend (I'm sick of writing my friend, we'll just call him Steve) gave me a small piece of paper with his address, cell phone, and directions to his apartment in Korean, in case I never needed it. Since this qualified as "needing it," I pulled it out of my wallet and just needed to find a phone. Since Korea has about as many public phones as it does escalators (so zero), I had to result to having Sally ask random people in Korean for a cellphone to borrow. And if you know actual Koreans (not the fake ones you buy in the stores, obviously), they are not the most giving bunch. Eventually I had her ask this attractive duo of girls to come back to the hotel with us to "get crazy." No, just kidding, I had her ask them for their phone. After some prodding, I got them to dial Steve's number. I got him on the phone, and asked where he was. "She was tired, we're back at my apartment," he said. "You have to get a hotel room." Now, I had been telling myself this all night, but now it finally hit me: I wasn't going back to his apartment at all. It was on me to make this happen. I kind of nodded, asserted myself, and hung up. It's Clooney time (that's whatever I say when I want to go into full mack mode...though arguably, Clooney doesn't need to prep himself, he's always on), I thought to myself.

So now I had a new agenda: hotel room, or rather motel room, since I was trying to save money. Unfortunately, she wasn't as willing as I expected I had made her. She continually kept saying, "I don't do this," sounding embarrassed. But, I kept reassuring her. I didn't think I was capable of this, but after I bought her a water and some ice cream (because who isn't a kid at heart?) and she was sitting down, still hesitant, I put my hands on her face, brushed her hair back, and said, "Do you trust me?" I said this a few times. She said, "Ok," and I was back in. Couldn't of written it better. All I needed was some dramatic music and the mood was set. So we went off, her still hesitant to ask anyone for directions, me futily trying to speak Engrish (Korean English) to the locals. I got such varying directions: one cab driver said it was "five minutes away," another person told me to walk eight blocks and then make a few turns. Finally, I got Sally to ask the second cab driver for the nearest hotel. We got in, and he said it was about 3 or 30 meters away, I don't remember. I guess too short to get driven to. So off we went, in a general direction, both unsure where the hell we were going, and me the whole time telling her, "We're too far from home...I can't go back, you are too far also...you have no money, this is the best option." Finally, after what seemed like ages but was probably only 5 minutes or so, we found it: "Hotel." Not the motel like I was looking for, but a room nonetheless. I paid the fee ($60 USD...apparently they have rooms for $40, but I wasn't going to look...it was pretty late at this point) and we went upstairs. It was weird, the lights kept turning off like they were on a timer, and somehow the manager must of knew this, because he called the room and instructed us to insert the key into the holster outside the bathroom and, voila, we had lights. So we went into the bathroom and brushed our teeth together, continuing the fine oral tradition of the country, and then I went to the bed. "This is it," I said. I had brought a Trojan with me in the event something went down, because I wasn't using a foreign rubber and definitely wasn't going raw dog. A child is the last thing I needed, especially not a foreign one. Anyway, I sat down and took my shirt off, just to set the tone, and also because I was hot. She smoked a cigarette (gotta love those Menthols), and we kind of waited...until she laid on the bed and I went in for it, like a cobra striking after a field mouse. I'll spare you the details once again, but just know it was probably the best moment in my short sexual history...I took charge like a field general, directing different positions and movements, doing everything I wanted to. She was wearing like 50 layers of clothes, so taking each one off took like an hour, but it was worth it. I felt like the man. I couldn't sleep much the next day, probably for a lot of reasons, but it was nice to wake up to someone and not hating it. We kind of snuggled a bit (now this is getting mushy again), but headed out shortly thereafter, looking for Steve. I should have pushed for the "morning quickie," but I failed to do so.

We took a cab and met Steve at his apartment. When I opened the door, I was surprised to see black beauty wearing the bunny ears he bought at the amusement park and wearing his slippers. Shortly thereafter, they left. I gave Sally my number and e-mail, again making a rookie mistake and not getting hers. I don't know if I'll ever hear from her again; I like to think maybe, but I shouldn't get too hung up on it. It was a fling, nothing more. But it makes me want to recreate that same magic back home. And after all of this, I feel capable of doing so.

I later found out from my friend some interesting details from his night: mainly, don't put fingers in places you're not sure about. I'll leave it at that.

For some reason, they shut his water off so we had to shower at the spa place by his house. After that, we hung out and discussed our nights (where he continued to say how much it sucked for him, understandably). Then it was off to the casino that night...but not before seeing some crazy old Korean woman wanting sex outside the convenience store and getting food. We should have eaten before, but waited til we got to the casino, which by the way, is a really awesome place. Looks really nice on the outside and apparently caters to foreigners (even though I saw a lot of what appeared to be locals there). To be honest, I'm getting tired of typing, and I want to get this done, so I'll just sum it all up: we went to some cheap restaurants to eat first (had some really good chicken and beef), went back to the casino (after taking a cab to the restaurants, we took another cab back...though it was cheap so it was ok), I lost $30 after being up about $90 (but $2.50 buy-ins in roulette is a damn steal), and forgot my umbrella in coatcheck.

I packed my stuff up the next day and had an ok flight back. Had a delay in SF of course, but I made it home, about 9:30, my third time zone of the day. I'm a little tired but overall no major jetlag.

So that's basically it, in a nutshell. I hope this entertained you...now let's hope the good fortune carries over back home. I'm not fully "home" yet, but I will, eventually....

Cheers.